After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
