I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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