You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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