When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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