I hate all girls vehemently.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
