Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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