I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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