I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
