I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
