i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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