I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize