Yo dont text me then not text me
why do cheetos always look like penises
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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