No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
