went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
