Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
