New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
