I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
