Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize