So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
