OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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