he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
