don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
