guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
