Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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