The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
