Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Text me some of your sweat
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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