i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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