I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
