Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
