We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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