Your face is a jimmy john
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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