My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize