I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
