South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
