You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
