Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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