rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
