I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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