you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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