so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize