Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize