I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
dude. I can hear the air.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
