I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
