so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
