I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm like, not good at living.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
