real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
