Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
