if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
