i need an iv and a liver transplant
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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