why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
