I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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