I wish they made helmets for livers.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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