You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
