There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
