She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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