the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
