"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
