It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
