Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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