my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
