chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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